• Looking back I realized that I have experienced a very good example two years ago: I had a really bad car accident but because of God's obvious presence at every turn I never perceived it as traumatic. Of course, it was not fun that the car was badly damaged and that I arrived at my destination three months later than planned. But there were so many details during this day where I could see God's hand that I felt at peace in the midst of it all. There were no bad dreams, no problems starting to drive again, no trauma despite it being a traumatic event. Some people could not even believe me and thought it will come later, but it did not. This was really amazing and cannot be explained except through God's protection.

• This car accident was only the most obvious problem I had. There were so many other problems that I can't even count them. All these happened during the course of not even two years which became what I later labeled as the most difficult time on the field. It was such an accumulation of problems that those few who knew all the details could only say, "no wonder!" that I ended up being emotionally exhausted.
  What about them? Are they good or evil according to these criteria? None of them felt 'good' to me, non fit in my plans, or matched my ideas of what should have happened. There was a lot of pain and powerlessness. Despite all of this, at one point I realized that I had been secure in God's love during the whole time. None of the problems brought me to the point where I questioned God's love for me. For me this was a huge step forward and a result of God's healing during the previous year. Combining this experience and the latest reflections, I have to reconsider my labels for this time and the individual situations. OK, they were difficult. That does not change. I am not yet there to call them 'good' but it seems that I am slowly moving in this direction. I know God was there with me, and many situations brought me into more dependence on the Lord. So, I guess, this is a good thing.

• A last small example of how this perspective can be helpful: On my recent vacation I went with a Swiss colleague and a German family to a reservoir south of Bamako. We all were really looking forward to swimming. To our great disappointment, we discovered early the first morning that the swimming pool was out of order. What a bummer! Most of us were really upset and we considered cutting our stay short, trying to find another place with a working swimming pool. In the middle of this disappointment I was reminded of what I had been reading about good and bad. This helped me to hold back any angry judgment (the owner should have told us, why does God bring us here for nothing?, etc) but trust that God has good plans for his children. This helped me to have peace, a positive outlook, a quiet expectation, thinking - I wonder what are God's good plans in this and how he will use it for good? Even before lunch time we discovered that it is safe to swim in the lake because the water quality is regularly checked (so no danger of getting bilharzia). And this we did to our heart's content for the rest of the time. It was so much nicer to swim in the lake but we would not have dared had we not been forced to consider this option.

God's plans are good even if they are painful and not always what we would prefer! And I am so thankful that I am learning to see things from a different perspective.

Hi John,

I’ve been trying to make sense out of my life of late and wonder if you’d be willing to share your thoughts with me.

Let’s see, in brief, I’ve recently broken off a long-term relationship with a man that I thought was ‘the one’. I was up for a promotion at work and I was passed over for someone else. It seems like I have a cold, or flu, or some other ailment one right after the other. My investment portfolio is a mess, and no matter which advisor I listen to I still keep losing money. I had to put my dog to sleep…..

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. These types of experiences seem to be the story of my life for the last few months now.

What am I doing to create all this? It feels like the sky is falling in on me and I don’t know where to turn or what to do.

Help,

Shirley

Sometimes people, opportunities and situations come into our lives and we know right away that they were meant to be there at that particular point in time as if by some divine appointment. Perhaps it’s to teach a lesson, give us a leg up or provide a new insight. Maybe it’

s to help us figure out who we are or who we want to become.You just never know what kind of form these experiences will take. It could be a class or a workshop at school, at work or perhaps at church. It might be a job offer or even the loss of a job. It may be a new relationship or the ending to an old one.

It may be simply be an interaction with another human being. Could just be a friend, or a roommate, a neighbor, a coworker, a long lost lover, or it might even be a complete stranger - but, somehow instinctively you know they will affect your life in some profound way.

At other times it can seem as though the ‘sky is falling’ and all manner of chaotic events such as natural, economic and personal disasters seem to occur. These are the ‘times that try men’s souls’, for usually we have no idea why these things are happening or what we might have done to create them. It’s during these times that it’

s even more important to remember that all things happen for a reason. Nothing happens as mere coincidence or because of good luck, or bad luck for that matter. Illness, injury, love, financial challenges, relationship issues, lost moments of true greatness and even sheer stupidity all occur to test and expand the limits of the soul.

At times things happen that seem horrible, painful, and even unfair, but upon reflection we find that without the opportunity to overcome those obstacles we would never realize our potential, our strength, our true self or our heart.

Each and every experience carries with it a potential, and because of our freedom to choose, our ability to be discerning, and our right to our own perspective, the degree and the direction in which that potential is activated is up to us.

We can consciously act upon whatever the experience in a way that brings us to greater happiness and success, or to a deeper awareness through an expanded vision, or to a more enriching and intimate relationship with ourselves, our spouses, our friends and family and all of life.

Or, we can unconsciously allow the experience to act upon us by providing us with more fuel to feed the fire of our self doubt, our belief in lack, of not being good enough, of being victimized, of being unlucky, being cursed, etc. Those bolstered negative beliefs become a part of the downward spiral that leads to sadness, anger, depression, lethargy, hopelessness – and even worse.

Therefore all the successes and downfalls we experience each day of our lives afford us the opportunity to create who we are and who we will become. All experiences can be learned from, even the ‘bad’ ones. In fact, the more challenging the experience or event, the greater the gain there is to be had from the solving, dealing with, overcoming, understanding, or enduring of it.

Most people will admit that their greatest growth as a human being was a result of their most trying times.

Without the scary, crazy, unreasonable, and even mundane and seemingly insignificant moments, life would seem like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. True, while it might appear safer and more comfortable, it would ultimately become tedious, dull and utterly pointless.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart - forgive them, for they have created for you the opportunity to embody trust, compassion, forgiveness and the importance of being discerning when you open your heart.

When someone loves you, love them back unconditionally - not just because they love you, but because they are teaching you how to love and how to open your heart and eyes to the deeper and more meaningful part of life. Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, and tell them often - for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Start today to develop and cultivate an attitude of appreciation and gratitude for each and every moment, and use the potential of those moments to learn everything that you possibly can about life.

For just like each and every breath we take, all the myriad moments that make up our life will never come again.

With love, John

Good Wednesday C.N.-ers out there! I hope everyone is enjoying the great fall weather and ready for some interesting politics tonight with the final US Presidential Debate. I also hope you enjoyed the video review I did of the MacSpeech Dictate software. We're not here to talk politics though today, I want to talk about something much more important....Me.

I've seen on various blogs that people 'open it up to the floor' for questions as to who they are and to know more about the person who's blog you're reading. I've wanted to do this for a few weeks and figure now is the time. So.... I put my blog in your hands to ask me anything you want to know about me. In typing up this post, I realize I haven't given much information about myself as to who I am. I think it will be interesting and I will do my best to let you guys know what I'm all about.

Additionally, I'm open to any writing prompts you would want for me to try out or anything else to challenge me in the writing realm. I may just take you up on an offer!

So submit your questions, queries, challenges, etc in the comments section by Saturday and I'll begin a series of posts about yours-truly. Enjoy!

I even tried this time to head it off. I bought a bunch of travel sized cosmetics and I got the suitcases out and I collected all of our travel info. But it doesn't matter. It's not like come Thursday night I can just pack up all those things and fly off to the airport. I mean we still have to print out all our directions or else we will get lost in the middle of Indiana and that means we will also be bickering with each other in the middle of Indiana, something I'd hoped to avoid. We also have to pack up Ginger and all her stuff and drop her off at my parent's house. And since Magoo is in the wedding we are attending we have to pick up his tux rental. And also since I have this thing where I like to have the house in a reasonably nice condition and I MUST have clean sheets on the bed when I return from a trip away, that also has to get done.

So you can see how come Thursday we can't just nicely place the a few items in a suitcase and call it a night? I mean we also have to do a few loads of laundry because Magoo is addicted to laundry and because he won't get to do it this weekend and also because he needs some clean clothes. And we would have to check the weather several times because we are very confused when it says it won't be 80 degrees. So we will inevitably stand around in our shorts and sweaters wondering if this is really right. Okay, fine that already happened, I came out of the bathroom a few days ago to find Magoo in basketball shorts and his pea coat.

But on top of that, we are having new tile installed and the condo painted and are attempting to show it to potential renters. I also have a handful of responsibilities at work and of course those few remaining items all call for my attention NOW! Which is more the result of me ignoring them for the past three weeks than anything else. And I thankfully have a few interviews I also have to attend this week. Seriously I am thankful, but of course they are this week, right?

We are also putting our wedding invitations to bed, (right, that's the newsroom slang for getting them to print?) Which means that there is a lot of back and forth and editing and making sure that there are no typos and the colors are right. So I ran home for a late lunch on Tuesday afternoon (which by the way never do, 2:30 is the worst time to be on the road what with the kids, and the crosswalks, and the school buses, and the slow drivers) to grab a color sample to overnight to our graphic designer and and I got home very, very crazed from the bad drivers and from the never-ending to-do list spiraling in my brain and honestly sort of feeling like I was going to lose it when I grabbed the mail. In it were two totally awesome things that I honestly wanted to cry, but this time from sheer joy, and from knowing that this will all be very, very okay.

The first was our paper. I know, who cries over blank paper? But it was exactly what I wanted for our invites and there had been so much drama with it all that I was so, so, so very pleased that it was exactly what I wanted.

The second was this present.

From my dear friend Joanna who sent it to me since she is missing my upcoming bachelorette party. It was the nicest, sweetest, most sentimental gift (and Oh My God look at me in 9th grade!) and that is when the tears came. I was already there thinking about my past and my friends and who I am. But these pictures brought that all to life. And more. It showed me what good friends I have made and kept all these years. How thoughtful and generous they are and what truly excellent times we had. It made me know that this is all worth it. It made me really look forward to my bachelorette party (even if Jo can't make it) and it made me realize that in a few weeks, as I get ready to leave for it, I will again be running around trying to prepare, because isn't that how it always goes?

Yup, I am going to become a grandpa again today. Am I excited, you bet I am. Picture me sitting here squirming with excited and nervous anticipation. Alternate that with a picture of me dancing around the house in excited joy at the pending event.

My daughter Billie and hubby Rob have already blessed me with one grand daughter. My wonderful beautiful, "little princess" Sage. Well today "princess" Sage is getting a baby sister.

As I am writing this Billie is in the hospital having her labor induced. I just got off the phone with Rob and she has had her first contraction, things are moving along. Rob tells me the ETA of the newest blessing to our family is anywhere between 2:00pm this afternoon and 9:00 pm this evening. It is the 1,100 or 1,200 hundred miles that separate us that is stopping me from being outside the delivery room door. Actually, maybe it is a good thing I am not there. If I was in the maternity unit somewhere and dancing around the way I am here at home, it could be a little disruptive. The picture of me dancing around may not be the prettiest one. Hey, I don't care, I am dancing for joy.

I wasn't going to write anything about this until after the blessed event occurred and I could make a big announcement introducing my new grand daughter to the world. It is just my excitement, my love, my joy is just bubbling over, I can't keep it in any longer, I have to share.

I will post updates as events unfold. I have to go and dance with excitement a little more.

UPDATE

I am overjoyed to announce Miss Emery Tache Stapleton has entered the world. A very happy and emotional daddy called me just after 2:00 my time with the wonderful news. Picture me floating on a cloud right up there beside the new mommy and daddy.

I realize when you have an ecstatic daddy talking to an equally ecstatic grandpa that I may have neglected to get all of the details. Exact time of birth, gee, I don't know and really don't care. She is here and both baby and mommy are doing fine. I do know she weighed in at 9 pounds even.

The happy daddy declares her to be absolutely beautiful and that they both "kind of like her". Congratulations to Billie and Rob. I know she is absolutely beautiful and can hardly wait for pictures to come and you know what, I "kind of like her" myself.

To Emery, welcome to this world. You are my little Angel and I love you with all of my heart. You will find yourself surrounded by love coming to you from a lot of different people. Everyone is so very very happy you are here. You are likely very lucky I am not there. You are less than 2 hours old but if I was there you would have likely received about a million grandpa hugs and kisses, already. I can hardly wait to be able to see you, hold you in my arms and give you a great big grandpa kiss right on the forehead. For now at least I have to settle for blowing you a kiss... there I just did.

Click here to listen to audio

All of the information via television, radio, internet, and newspapers. All the debate watching, the pundits, the bloggers, the wikipedia entries, the campaigning, the good and not so good ads, the parodies on SNL, all this and even more - NULLIFIED BY YOUR IGNORANCE! WHY DO WE EVEN BOTHER VOTING? NO WONDER THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE IS THE REAL CLINCHER IN THIS AND EVERY ELECTION!

“It's not right in one life too much rain”, that’s from a Paul McCartney song, I’m not sure if it’s his original line of if he got it from some other great thinker, but non-the-less it’s a great line. It’s one of those lines that make you think. It’s not a typical Paul McCartney line; it’s a little down and out sounding, like life is just crap. But in truth, I don’t think that’s what he was saying; I think the line is more about perspective than anything else.

Keeping our lives in balance, that’s what it’s all about. We need to learn that, we need to practice that, and we need to implement that in to our daily life. Perspective, how we see things, how we interrupt life.

No life is perfect, and truly no day is ever truly smooth sailing, yet some of us see life that way. We are said to be wearing rose tinted glasses. We choose to see life as upbeat and positive. We chose to create a world that meets our needs. Now the argument can be made that others who do not see the world through rose colored classes choose to do so. And that is true; they do chose to see life as a negative. But once again it’s all about balance. We need to allow the sun to shine in our life as well as allowing the rain to fall. Each has a purpose.

Too Much Rain  

By: Paul McCartney

Laugh when your eyes are burning
Smile when your heart is filled with pain
Sigh as you brush away your sorrow
Make a vow that it's not gonna happen again

It's not right in one life too much rain

You know the wheels keep turning
Why do the tears run down your face?
We used to hide away our feelings
But for now tell yourself it won't happen again

It's not right in one life too much rain

It's too much for anyone
Too hard for anyone
Who wants a happy and peaceful life
You've gotta learn to laugh

Smile when you're spinning round and round
Sigh as you think about tomorrow
Make a vow that your gonna be happy again

It's all right in your life no more rain

It's too much for anyone
Too hard for anyone
Who wants a happy and peaceful life
You've gotta learn to laugh

The song sings of finding peace, happiness and balance in one’s life. The song speaks of choosing to see life as positive, choosing a balance between rain in your life or sunshine.

Paul

This is a comfort psalm for many, and usually what stands out to me is the first part, about green pastures, still waters and a restored soul. I'm aware of other key points: the paths God chooses to guide me in are for the sake of His glory, and sometimes those paths are through dark or enemy-infested places.

Still, somehow I come away with a warm feeling and a sense of the message being about me: He cares for me, leads me, and "[s]urely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." (verse 6, NIV*)

A few days ago I read the psalm again, still thinking about "my way or God's way," and saw it from a different angle. Don't you love Scripture, the depths of meaning waiting to unfold?

Verse 4 talks about His rod and staff comforting us. I've heard it said the rod is for fighting off predators, the staff (or crook) for pulling sheep out of the messes they get into.

I'd always taken the "comfort" here to mean the actual use of these tools, but now I see knowing God's strength and desire to care for us is part of the comfort. We don't have to wait until the situation requires Him to use them.

If our confidence is in Him, we don't need to fear or fret. With our eyes on Him, we see the psalm is really about Him anyway: He is the shepherd, He leads and provides, and it's for His glory. The goodness and mercy we receive radiate from Him.

And yet it's so typical of us to choose our own ways, follow our own inclinations and interests. We try to follow God, but on our own terms. In the little things, and then the bigger ones, we put distance between us and the Shepherd.

Father, thank You for Your goodness, mercy and compassion. Please forgive us for trying to shepherd ourselves in different parts of our lives. You know that never works out, and You are our Good Shepherd, ready and longing to draw us near again. Please help us to hear Your voice. Help us see our need, and when You restore us, help us discover the delight of staying at Your side. Because of Jesus, Amen.

Our song for this week is Todd Agnew's "Shepherd"

*New International Version (NIV) Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Since I started my new job (Hi I'm Sammy and I work for Money Advice and Support in Swansea University) I've been struck again with our 'now' culture. The culture that says if you need something (should say want really) then now is the time you have to have it!
"I need a new sofa so instead of saving some pennies and getting one which will actually be mine I'll take it out on finance and spend 10 years paying for it."
What really gets me is that in 5years time (when I've still got 5years left to pay) I wont like the sofa anymore or it will be falling apart! (I haven't bought a sofa, this is just an example).

I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at. I have recently bought a new(54) car and it was mad to see that most of the sales people were a little sad I wanted to pay cash, up front, there and then! It's just everywhere. We wont wait for stuff. We need it now!

This is so different from a proper, heaven, eternity orientated view. A view that the Bible promotes (e.g. Matthew 6v19-24). We're called to look forward to a time when we'll be with Him forever. Not now...then. It's part of what makes life fun I suppose, but here's my point. As Christians we've got on board the 'now' culture which means that we've taken our eyes off eternity and heaven. It means we don't see then as the be all and end all, we just see now. It means we reduce the Gospel from one Eternal Salvation and Satisfaction in Christ to some hand outs now so that people can live up to some government approved standards. It's a sick twisted gospel that says all people need is our love now, today. God's heart is for the lost and sorting out their eternal futures. Please, please, please (if you know me) try and help me shift my mind (and hearts) focus onto eternity with Him.

For a less 'spiritual' rant on the matter check out my post which provoked this one over on saintbeagle

Letter to the Local Church:

Things I would say to the local church:

*Don’t let tradition get in the way of development; don’t let development get rid of tradition.

*Hold one another accountable, particularly those in leadership positions but do it with kindness, respect, discretion, humility.

*Start teaching and using prayer for what it is: time of communion with God and one another, not a wishlist for what you want or as a way to feel you have control over life. When bad things happen it doesn’t mean you could have warded it off with prayer or you can make it disappear with prayer. Prayer is more for your insides than your outsides. This is a shock and disappointment when you don’t know this. Also, living the best way you can is not a guarantee that something horrible will not happen to you: people may say they realize this, but EMPHASIS IT because deep down a lot of “good people” feel shocked and betrayed by God when tragedy strikes. Instead, teach something like this of prayer: when we pray, we should be seeking communion with God. We should be thinking more towards changing the internal aspects of ourselves instead of the external aspects of our lives. If we can calm our spirits, change our perspectives, develop our faith in a way that makes up capable to face the battles and demons of our lives, then we are getting somewhere. If through prayer, we understand our selves, our God, our world more, if though prayer we unlock the powers in our depths, and begin to see the purpose in our existence, then prayer is active, it is relative, it is transformative. If through prayer, we become a person more capable of being the best version our ourselves, then though prayer, we become the changing forces of our lives. We underestimate prayer and we underestimate God when relegate them to the little boxes we were taught somewhere along the way that they fit it to. How ridiculous, how inane, how wasteful.

*Be open for discussion, for questioning of practices and beliefs. Encourage critical thinking and discussing personal interpretations. It will help you develop real substance and foundations for your beliefs and give you new perspectives.

*Don’t let the same people do the same things over and over, don’t let a family or group monopolize the church. Figure out how to not force people and not just let them off the hook when it comes to being active in the church. Instead, be active in helping people find their "fruits of the spirit", their ways to be active members of the church and the Body of Christ to utilize their abilities and grow. Be creative, inventive, open to the new things this could bring.

*DO SOMETHING REAL in the community, local and global, something that impacts something, changes something, improves something, attempts something, not just simple "good works" things, but hands-dirty kinds of things.

*Nurture all age groups children through seniors.

*Don’t let the size of your church limit you.

*Don’t make visitors feel ignored, but don’t make too big a deal about them either.

*Call and visit each other.

*Use technology to your advantage; web sites, email, texting, online photo galleries, social networks, etc.

*Be honest about yourself.  Your faith is only valuable if it is authentic; what importance is your light without your darkness? What value is your faith without your fear?  Don't operate on pretense, it squanders your potential.

*Don’t focus too much on people’s outsides; how they dress, what they do on the weekends, but more what’s going on inside. We all have vices, preferences, interpretations; don’t let that get in the way of learning from one another.

Accept differences of opinion and even differences on implementation of faith, we are more a like than we are different if we can get past of pre judgments of people.

*Church should be a safe place to be yourself, whoever that is, not a place to conform, but to grow together with acceptance and mutual love and appreciation. God loves us and gifted us this love knowing every aspect of us, shouldn't we do the same for one another?

*At the same time, we shouldn’t get too comfortable…we should push ourselves and one another to develop and move foward.

*Churches should have fun together.

*Churches should love one another.

*Churches should work together with other churches, co-op events regardless of theology. Aren’t we all about the same thing? Love of Christ and Love for Christ? Isn’t that the bottom line? Don’t let doctrines separate us too much. A house divided against itself can not stand. That house is the Church. Work together. It’s not a competition.

*Give each other room for error, give each other grace.

*Have real knowledge about other religions, don’t be afraid to integrate similar practices ( i.e. meditation and prayer)

*Have real knowledge about your own faith; life-lived knowledge, critically thought, challenged and processed knowledge, not regurgitated facts and ideals, this will give you solid ground to stand on and help others build solid footing.

*Don’t make it seem like faith is easy or a cure all.

*Don’t use too much jargon when talking about faith.  There are ideas, concepts, and terms that just don't make sense if you didn't grow up in Sunday School.

*Take a Sunday off, you're not a "bad person" if you do and you need to step out of your world sometimes to gain perspective.

*Stop feeding the ideas that people who don't fit into your personal or group ideals are bad or wrong. This only breeds division and walls and often a false sense of superiority that people pick up on and turn from.

*Acknowledge various aspects of pop culture and indulge in what you honestly enjoy and find acceptable, but don't go out of your way to emulate it. People want acceptance, appreciation, and authenticity - not cheesy imitations and false connectivity based something that's been manufactured.  Instead, allow for differences; then seek, build, and accentuate common ground.

*Experience God in the day to day and work with people in your congregation to do this and not act like the only way to be with God is in church.

*Don't feed adolescents fairy tales about love and sex; you would serve them better if you taught them respect and appreciation for themselves and each other and ways to build true intimacy in the world that they live, not your special "Christian" world where teenagers will only hold hands and go on group dates with a chaperone, this may be the case for some, but not for all, so evaluate your audience and give relevant advice and guidance..

*Give less lists of shoulds and shouldn'ts and work more on helping people develop their own internal compass, that is individual because faith looks and works differently with different people, acknowledge that.

*Don't use guilt or scare tactics.Guilt and fear are destructive thought patterns and emotions. A guilty, scared "Christian" doesn't understand the beauty and forgiveness of the love that you are basing your church on and will not be an effective member of your body.

I grew up in the church.  In my family's church, rooted by generations, I was raised.  I had a great experience overall. Youth group, camp, choir, leadership groups, teaching positions, trips, missions, dinners, plays, BBQ's, lock-ins, bible studies, altar calls, baby dedications, weddings, and funerals. I love the church.  I love my church; my denomination, my friends, my family, my ancestry, my experiences that all roll into one under the umbrella of church.  And just as much as someone can feel called into service in the church, I was called out.  And have been, for all practical purposes, not part of the church in recent years.  I say this to explain the lense from which I view church and the changes I think need to happen in the church.

There are discrepancies in the kind of belief you have before you see the world and after you see the world.  Before you see so many perceived bad things happen to perceived good people.  Before you realize that no matter how much someone plays by the rules they can still lose it all or get burned.  Before you see suffering and sickness and death strike with no order, not passing over the faithful.  There are few guarantees.  It comes out all the time in tragedy, but it is true for everyone, all the time: all we have is whatever’s within us and each other.  That’s it.  No matter what you think you have, you aren’t guaranteed to keep it, no matter how many precautions you take or prayers you lift, no matter how prepared you believe yourself to be, no matter how much you have.  That’s why we have to build up storehouses within ourselves and each other of the intangible- things that will nourish us and protect us and push us. That's what we need to do in church, that's what people need from church.

And we have to build in one another, invest in one another.  We are it.  We are all there is. We are all we have.  We are all we need.  Us and belief.  The things we carry in us (God, love, faith, hope, belief).  These basic, basic things. That’s it.  People and belief.

That's church all stripped down, people and belief.  People who need to be invested in one another, people who need storehouses of the intangible, people who need the transformative power of prayer and communion with God, people who need unconditional love and acceptance, people who need connectivity, people who need friendship, people who need safe places, people who need reprieve, people who need substance, people who need hope, peace, and love that transcends understanding and logic, people who need purpose.

I'd love to see some little revolutions in the Christian church, some envelopes pushed, some traditions reinstated, some new ones created. What the local church has been is not near as important as what it can be, and what it can be is not near as important as what it is now, in every moving moment of now. But it takes people, people aware and willing to move in the moving moments.

]]> http://culturedecoded.wordpress.com/?p=573 Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:50:36 +0000 pacer521 http://culturedecoded.cs.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/the-importance-of-the-final-presidential-debate/ In the extremely complicated game of politics, few things are for certain in the subject of strategy, especially the outcome of an already press-plagued presidential race for history -- from every standpoint. And when the fact that the race has had arguably the most strings and skeletons attached then ever before is thrown in to the equation, the expression: "Its politics -- anything can happen" truly goes literal. 

But in the same sense, the presidential debates have been what many would call the most uneventful part of the campaign, when many bloggers (including me), strategists and the press alike stressed that the debates would do the opposite: setting off major gaffes and swinging the polls. 

And as contradicting as this may sound, I am staying with my prior claim with one event in mind -- the final presidential debate. This is because (in a nutshell) McCain must successfully make debate waves or he will lose. 

 Why? The final debate is essentially McCain's last public  stand against his opponent before the election, and both  campaigns know that McCain does not want to enter an  election with the poll deficit that he has today. 

 And because of this, McCain will have to look for holes to  punch at more now than ever.

Am I suggesting he will attempt to pull off a: Lloyd Bentsen? No, but Bentsen's "You are no Jack Kennedy" debate stab makes a good strategic point -- if McCain intends to win the debate with some sort of effect carried out in the polls, he must not attack Obama in the way that he has but rather all in -- with one soundbite. 

If I can refer to one of my famous analogies, McCain's theoretical sling shot has endless ammuntion and is relatively cheap, but won't win him anything in the long run, as opposed to an expensive one shot Bazooka -- A.K.A a knockout soundbite. 

But does this exist? In my opinion, no. 

If Obama uses the same common sense debate strategy he has been using so far, he will essentially know the above points. And if he does, he will simply prepare for the debate like the previous two -- calmly presenting his policies and safely pointing out contradictions and points by McCain. With this strategy, Obama simply saves himself from politically falling on his face.

But also, in doing this, Obama also presents the best defense to the only offense that McCain can throw at him. What do I mean? In short, while McCain is searching for a throw his soundbite through the crowd, Obama has the ability to see McCain's strategy before it starts -- and possibly intercepting the soundbite when it comes. 

So I'll open this up to the commenters: "Is McCain going to try this, and what would the outcome be?"

So, let’s start with the land of magic, India. All in all, it has been often stated that India is a land of magic, both supernatural and mundane. Hinduism is one of the few religions that has sacred texts like the Vedas that discuss both white and black magic. There are Vedas that deals with mantras that can be used for both good and bad. The word mantrik in India literally means "magician" since the mantrik usually knows mantras, spells, and curses which can be used for or against forms of magic. Many ascetics after long periods of penance and meditation are alleged to attain a state where they may utilize supernatural powers. However, many say that they choose not to use them and instead focus on transcending beyond physical power into the realm of spirituality. Many wizards, called siddhars are said to have performed miracles that would ordinarily be impossible to perform.

This is the time of year to get ready for winter. There are a lot of projects to be done, things to clean up, and stuff to put away. My "to do" lists are filling up, and there are a couple of spiritual matters that need to be addressed. There is the talk with my old pastor. I have an email to write. There are books to be sorted, papers to get rid of, and other inside work that is waiting for a rainy day or two.

I like this time of year for that reason. It feels more productive. Summer is the time to play, and fall is the time to prepare for the short days, long nights, and snow. That is the physical work. But there is also the spiritual work to be done, a time to put some more important matters into perspective.

The thought occurred to me today that I may have been a wandering Lutheran all of these years. That may sound a bit strange, but it would help to explain why, except for the very early years as an evangelical, I had issues with the church and it's teaching. Looking back over the past thirty four years, I see signs that give me a bit of perspective on the past.

Not everyone likes it when you talk about life with Christ being a journey. I have chosen to look at it through that lens. Why? Because there have been a few stops along the way at various churches, because my theology has changed over the years, and because the relationships I have made have changed. Some have grown closer, and some have drifted apart. It feels like I have been on a journey, precisely because I didn't just arrive somewhere and stay put.

A lot of things in my life have been like that. For instance, I have owned dozens of cars and worked for three dozen companies, some more than once, during that time. Change is a consistent theme for me, and makes life interesting. Yet there are other things in which I have taken a long term view. Relationships with friends from high school, my marriage to that very patient woman, and being a father to our son come to mind. Here I take the long view, perfectly content with people who are able to put up with me, and who are willing to invest in the relationship themselves. Long term relationships give you the perspective of permanence and stability. Short term relationships give you the perspective that life is always changing, sometimes in ways that you don't like.

But a constant theme throughout the years has been my desire to keep Christ at the center. Where that comes from, I don't really know. Maybe it was my early training in the LCMS as a boy. Maybe what the Pastor taught us actually stuck somewhere up there. Or it could have come from my friend Cliff, who reached out to me as a young man and whom God used to bring me back to the faith. It could have been the influence of my mother, who was the spiritual leader in our house and was the driving force behind our becoming Christians in the first place.

Whatever the reason, asking the question; "Where is Christ in all of this stuff called Christianity?" has been my tool to sort through all of the static. Being without a church for a couple of years has given me the opportunity to use this tool countless times. Talking with friends and co-workers about matters of faith and worship has lead to more than a few discussions about the Christ who died for the sins of the world. That is the stuff that matters. Christ crucified for you, and for me.

That is a perspective, I think, that is unique to Reformation theology, specifically as it is expressed in Lutheran doctrine. There are many aspects of Luther's doctrine that has answered a lot of questions for me. There are still questions that remain, and who knows? I may find certain issues that I disagree with over the course of time. But age has given me a different perspective on doctrine as well. I find that I am more than willing to hear opposing views, consider their position, and to make a more thoughtful evaluation than I was in my earlier days.

I think that there must be room in the Christian faith for an expression of brotherly love and understanding that is willing to listen and really hear what the other is saying. I am not talking about tolerating false doctrine here, or teachings that are obviously opposed to the clear teaching of the Scriptures. Discernment is sorely needed in the church today. Men need to examine the teachings that they are exposed to, both in their own church and without, and to compare it with the Word of God. We need to be good Bereans.

But I think that we also need to have the perspective that what we are doing in our own churches has a place somewhere in the timeline of church history. Our theology has to work for those who have gone before, it has to make sense in that way. And I believe that we need to consider what others have said about our faith. We are not Christians in a vacuum. The church did not begin when we came to Christ. We are part of a 2000 year history that has had many who not only have gone before, but have died in defense of our faith. That it continues today should give anyone pause.

What I write here is from the perspective of someone who has been through many seasons. Some have been sweet like spring, while others have been crisp like the fall. Some have been times of rest, like the warm days of summer. Others have been harsh and bitter cold, the dark depths of winter. Yet in all those seasons, God has remained faithful. Even when there were days where I could not get out of bed, days when I wanted to chuck the whole thing, days when no one was there. He has remained, even when I have not.

So as the fall comes and fades into winter, the desire for Christ at the center remain strong. No matter what happens in this life, no matter what the troubles I have with church or matters of faith, no matter what, Christ is there where He has always been. I know that it is not by my own reason or strength that Christ has come to me. And I know that the gifts He has given, through the means He has chosen, come from His hand alone. Mine is the empty hand of faith that receives, nothing more. His is the hand that gives, the hand that saves.

Until next time, Peace in Christ.
Doug

this is what vogue does to reese witherspoon. very french.

not much going on today except for some new art ideas that have been stirring around in my head. they mainly have to do with inspiration and its effect on the creative process- as well as the notion of color blindess and how it relates to subjective perception. one man's trash truly might be another man's treasure.....

i love the notions of perception and perspective. it fascinates me.

p.s. On its way is the 3rd sequel to Youth In Revolt by C.D. Payne in transit via USPS.

My son and I drove to Colorado last month. We decided upon a return route that took us back into our great state by way of New Mexico's state highway 456. If you have never personally traveled the stretch of this highway from Raton, New Mexico into the panhandle of Oklahoma, you have missed an adventure! ;-)

We knew it was the scenic route; that is why we choose it! However, we didn't realize how scenic it would prove to be! ;-) And more importantly, we had no idea of the wonderful Life Lessons we would learn via the experience! (Which, be the way ... We were not able to immediately identity as "wonderful" at the time!)

Basically, there is a point where New Mexico's state highway 456 is a dirt road in the middle of cattle country! There is no cell phone coverage, there are no houses and there are no people — just miles and miles of cattle ranches! B-)

This highway does provide a view that is unmatched! It is the high desert country and it is just gorgeous! Beauty beyond words for me, as I adore the Land of Enchantment aka New Mexico! ♥

This highway also provides one with the opportunity to learn about faith! ;-) And here are my notes with the parallels of the SH-456 journey and real-life journeys [in red]:

1. Ah-h ... Driving slowly allows you to enjoy the view: The palette of color, the vegetation and wildlife, the deep hues of blue painted over the sky! ♥ [Taking the scenic route rocks! I am living the dream! This is such a great choice! :-D ]
   
2. Driving very slowly facilitates sparkly conversation and sharing special times together ♥ as well as documenting the drive, as you soak in the beauty, via photos! [Life is about relationships and living in this present moment; enjoying the little blessings that come our way! Go for it! Take chances, make mistakes, get messy and live the life you love! :-) ]
   
3. Driving very, very slowly makes one wonder, "Why in the world did this route ever seem like a good idea?!" [Carumba! This is not so fun anymore; forget the stupid points of 1-2!! This was such a dumb idea! :roll: ]
4. Pavement ends. You are now driving on a dirt road (in the middle of Nowhere!) — and your idea of using the google map feature on your fancy phone isn't going to work out (no signal!) — conversation in the vehicle turns to a fast-paced, back-peddle of why taking the scenic route was ever a good idea! [Ack! I don't want to go this way!! What was I thinking!? Dreams are for sleeping! I didn't think this through!!! :-x ]
5. You catch your breath and get your wits; you know this is the way. Oh, look! There is a highway sign! [Now what do I do? Oh, wait! Good. It must be a sign! Oh, I am on the right path! ... Right? :-? ]
6. Keep driving ... Maybe I should use a Lifeline; I will phone-a-friend! Hmm, checking phone. Arg! Still no signal! [There is absolutely no way this was ever a good idea! Who cares what I thought!? what my friends said!? This plan is flawed in so many ways!! :roll: ]
7. Continue driving ... Because there are no other roads. (And there are NO people or places to stop! 8-O ) [After a time of hurry-scrurry ... you give up and quit. :-| ]
8. Arrive at your destination ... [After quitting, you feel like a failure. :-( ]

Long about Steps 7 and 8 in our real-life journeys we are usually sitting by the side of the road in "park" and in tears ...

There are always "exits" and other roads to take.

And all too often we give up our original plan and camp out at the place of "Good Enough" — or are incapacitated due to our sense of failure.

But failure is merely a temporary state :arrow: when we choose to try again ... To embrace each day as an opportunity, a new beginning!

If you feeling like a failure or in the midst of making decisions about your life and you "feel" like you are locked in a cycle, check back here tomorrow for Part 2.

In the mean time, consider the insight of this quote:

Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable. ~Francis Bacon

... and remember, failure holds the promise of being merely rest stop. (Hey, maybe there is some chocolate at this rest stop! ;-) )

• Related posts

This blog is about my life. The new life I am creating moment by moment. There are posts reflecting my optimistic views of the future and my fears of the same. But this post is intended to set the record straight.  It is about me letting go of the fear that I have held on to for years. It is about drawing a line in the sand for myself. It is about confession and perseverance and faith.  This is the final installment. You should read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 so this will all make sense. 

This is Part 4: My Full Circle Moment (thank you Oprah for coining that). As a small refresher from Part 3 - Faith, I realized that I had to give up complete control to God to really truly experience a full relationship with Him. That saying it and then doing what I wanted to do with a part of my life was not going to give me the results that I wanted. As an active expression of faith I have to relinquish all control.

That meant I had to completely stop interacting with the male Christian who had befriended me earlier in the year. Mind you, let me be clear, there was nothing, I repeat, nothing going on. But it was just this distraction that I was using to bolster my self-esteem and give me a false sense of security. Nothing more, nothing less. Our occassional conversation made me feel more confident, more capable, just... more.  Now maybe you are thinking, what's the big deal? You're just talking and he's just a friend. That's exactly what I told myself for a while. But the point is what it did for me; what it gave me.... security & confidence & peace.  

Let's resurrect Part 1 here for just a second.... 

• The Problem:  I make men my higher power.
• The Result:  Emotional bondage and failed relationships.
• The Root Cause:  (Here’s the kicker)  I have never fully believed or accepted that GOD IS ENOUGH. 

Are you connecting the dots yet?  I was allowing my male friend to give me emotionally and spiritually what I was supposed to be getting from my relationship with Christ: security & confidence & peace.  It was not intentional, it was not bad. But as long as I was seeking it or getting it from my friend, then I didn't have to rely on God. I never had to go to those lengths to fully accept that He was enough and I didn't need anyone else. 

What a scary realization! And yet, it all happened perfectly, with perfect timing and the support of a new GIRL friend. I made the decision late on a Saturday night, early Sunday hours actually, and then I went to church at Crosspoint to hear another sermon on getting in SYNC with God. What was discussed... letting God be enough. Yes, those are the words I heard over and over that morning. After the service Pastor Pete prayed with me on this very subject.  

It was almost immediate that I began to see the difference.  One of my concerns about letting God be enough was my real life here on earth, not my spiritual life, but daily in and out struggles and challenges. Who was going to be my cheerleader? Who was going to lend me a hand, literally?  It was as if, He had just been waiting for me to really seek Him openly and completely, not with half-heartedness. That very next week several things happened.

1) My kids, my beautiful crazy brilliant kids, started being my cheerleaders. Never had they really praised me for the things I did. I mean why would they, they're 3. But they began to tell me how proud they were of me. Proud, this is not a word they had ever used before. But sure enough, when I tied a shoe, they were proud of me. When I said we should go somewhere or do something I heard, Mom that's a great idea!, with such sincere enthusiasm. That's when it hit me. They will be my cheerleaders.

2) I met a new friend that just gave me confidence and support and accountability like I had not been getting from my other friends. She always tells me our meeting was a God thing. I believe she is right. She will be my cheerleader.

3) While playing with my kids at the park one day, it suddenly hit me that my pain and suffering was not without purpose. But it was to humble me and bring me to a level of understanding so that I would be a better mother for them. For their hurt, for their suffering was just about to begin when their father moved to Europe. Just as God brought them in to the world in such a unique way to help me change for the better, it was happening again. Because I can not raise them and love them and give them everything they need emotionally and spiritually, I have to rely on God to play such an important part in that process for them and for me. How can I teach them that if I don't believe it myself? How can I raise them without a father actively participating in their lives and help them understand that God is their father if I don't rely on Him myself? I can't possible teach them something that I can't grasp or haven't experienced, right? This my friends, was my full circle moment. When all of this came in to the light and I laid in the grass with my kids beside me and we looked up at the sky at the clouds. I knew then, that it was all for them. 

As I began to really grasp this concept and grow to trust it another very significant event occurred. This one may be difficult to grasp for some, but I believe it is true. After I moved on from my friendship and started trusting in God, I lost my iPod. This drove many more conversations of greater lengths with Him on my runs. It was one run in particular that I felt Christ's presence in me like never before. I heard Him say, "I am with you." This being the little voice inside your head, only is was strong and intense. And I cried the moment it happened. There He was. Funny, He had been there all along, but with so many distractions and so much noise I was never able to hear Him before.   

As my trials have increased in frequency and severity, my level of faith has increased. Even the day we buried my grandmother, when we were life-flighting my mother to St. Louis for her head trauma that very same night, I was driving up and felt a blanket of restorative peace envelope me. I did not have to worry regardless of the outcome, I knew God was with me.

My sufferings have made me trust and believe in God's love for me more, rather than less.  Relying on Him and only Him, gives me the security, confidence and peace that I have been longing for forever. 

Will I slip? Yes, I already have. Thus the delay for posting Part 4 of this series. But the good news is regardless of my faults and failures, He is with me and I can always come back around. As I have again. I will not make excuses, but it is hard to stay in the present with Christ. It is hard to continually give up control. But as new events and discoveries form in our lives, it is not always easy to see them for what they really are. It is more or less with constant prayer and actively seeking Him, does it work. But the rewards are so sweet they make it all worthwhile!

I've done something I'm not entirely proud of. This is not the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. But, apparently, the world is full of perspective if I can climb out of the clamor in my head for long enough to see it. Today would normally be a day when I would not climb out. The last time I had makings for a day like this, I had a migraine and stayed in bed until six in the afternoon and then I cut off all my hair. Brave, we're going for brave, I told the hairstylist (who is also a country-western singer, which is part of why I like her and keep going back even though it costs too much money and she always buffants me out a little more than my soft-butch self would normally allow). And it helped, but it was not the same as perspective. Sometimes it's a haircut, sometimes it's a new pair of sneakers (it's often a new pair of sneakers). Every once in a great while, it's another human being -- almost always one under the age of 18.

Today, it was several human beings.

Kassandra, Rebecca, Raji, and Isabelle are in 11th grade. They are studying for an upcoming standardized test and I am their tutor. They are pretty, all of them, and purposefully dressed, as all teenage girls are (even the ones who are not, as I was not. We're wearing that particular hoodie for a particular reason. Believe it.). When they walk into the classroom, a cloud of Herbal Essence and blackberry clicks come, too. I wonder, often, if my boss sets me up with these particular clients just to watch them squirm. I wonder if this is his idea of fun. It's mine. They do squirm at first, me in my jeans and crew-cut and button down and old-man shoes. But these girls and I get used to each other; we always do. Raji offers to answer every single question, even the ones she gets wrong, and reads aloud every time I ask for a volunteer. This is not out of confidence; it seems to come from the anxious, spewing wires inside her. She is trying to quiet them. The other girls roll their eyes, but she is completely impervious to it -- ruled only by the rushing wires. She will do anything to quiet them. I felt that way every single day for a very, very long time and the only thing that quieted it was booze and that became a problem unto itself and I look at this girl, squirming in her skin and I think, I promise, You'll be okay. And also, then, I am okay. And it is a terrible kind of relief, but a relief nonetheless.

When I leave the office, Daniel is standing outside. He's waiting for his ride home. He greets me, verbosely as always, and explains that he's waiting for his mom. I understand by his slouch against the wall that he has been and will be waiting a while. Suddenly, I am 13. My parents split up 4 months ago. I am waiting at Hebrew School, at soccer practice, at music lessons. I am waiting. And waiting. I am slouched against a wall. Daniel's parents got divorced this summer. I am overwhelmed by gratitude for my bus pass, for my house keys, for my ability to leave. It is a terrible gratitude, but a gratitude nonetheless.

I go then to my favorite student, my Ameera, who is very young and very ill -- and it is just terrible, pure and simple. I bring her a figurine because she wants to learn how to draw people and because I very much want to make her happy. Her bald, patchy head bobs up and down as she draws a ballerina in her notebook. I wish I were a different kind of self-centered, but this is how I maintain perspective. It is impossible to lose it when I keep my eyes on her determined, unprotected hands, eyebrows, wisps of hair. And it is terrible. And it is perspective, nonetheless.

I spend the rest of the day with a favorite friend. We go to the movies and sit in an outdoor cafe and eat food late at night. Walking home, tired and happy, there is a girl sitting by the abandoned basketball courts next to my house. She is on the phone and she is crying. Hard. She is saying over and over, I have to leave; I have to leave. I just can't do this anymore. Six months ago, I sat by the basketball court. It was March and I measured the cold by the frozen puddles under the hoops. They were thick and white and showed no sign of leaving. I'd rushed out of my apartment, into the convenience store, bought a pack of cigarettes and planted myself there, calling my heroes, my favorite friends, and saying over and over, voice cracking, crying hard, She has to leave; she said she has to leave. She just can't dot this anymore. And it was terrible. And I assumed it would be, forever. That I would continue on, to dress and eventually to go to work, to move, to eat. I was not banking on much more than that. I do not deserve more than that. But I do not get what I deserve.

I don't know how to explain any of this without sounding like a monster, at least I'm not a child with cancer, at least I'm sobbing on a street corner, at least I'm not an anxiety-ridden 16 year old, at least I'm not waiting for my mom. But it's not that. Or, it's not only that. It's also, at least, that someday, and maybe for some split-seconds today, I can be outside of my own rushing wires and fears of death and missing people who are not supposed to be missing, to be helpful. Maybe.

 If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

I am generally so consumed with my own day-to-day that I'm hardly aware of the local weather report, let alone national or international concerns.  Most of my broader knowledge base is made up of what my HubbyLu discloses at the dinner table.  Right or wrong, the majority of my days are characterized by a lack of information about things that do not need sack lunches, clean clothes, carpools, or doctor visits.  My bubble, in reality, is rather small.

However, with the most recent current events, it is hard to avoid the biggest headliners (even for the most skilled of ostriches).  And there lies the flip-side of "blissful ignorance"; once the ignorance is broken, so is the bliss.  Therefore, I found myself tuning in to watch bits of the Vice-Presidential and Presidential debates.  Although the former proved to be interesting, the latter was not.  And if you asked me what I remember hearing, I could only reiterate one thing.

"What don't you know and how will you learn it?"

The moderator of the Presidential Debate was relaying questions from the general public and this was one of them.  This stuck with me because it struck me as double-edged.  On one hand, it could be taken lightly and answered manipulatively to promote oneself or one's cause.  Neither Presidential Candidate could pass up that opportunity.  On the other hand, it could be deep water . . .

What is my awareness of matters beyond my personal knowledge or experience?  And, perhaps more importantly, how do I plan seek out wisdom, or truth, regarding the unknown?  What will I rely on as a guiding compass?  Frankly, I only have a few choices.

First, I could rely on myself: my own internal gauge of right or wrong.  Of course, this gauge is extremely biased.  My perceptions are formed by my experience, my personality, my culture, and my belief system.  Additionally, I can not be a source of new information to myself.  The nature of the unknown means, by definition, I do not know it.

Second, I could rely on others.  But, this source is tainted as well.  Just as I am subject to my own influences, others are subject to theirs.  They will fall prey to the same biases that I am seeking to avoid in myself.  Therefore, they can not be fully trusted alone.

Lastly, I could resort to an authority that is objective in nature.  There are only a few options to consider here.  Science and HIstory represent two of them.  Although, even these are subject to human interpretation and limited by human comprehension.  So, where can we turn for absolute truth?  How do we ever know with certainty that we have found validity in a matter?  If was want to be assured of unbiased, unchanging information, we have to find an authority that speaks to every matter without fear of prejudice from human limitations.

There is only one such source that has proven to stand the test of time and context: The Bible.

• Which of these sources do you most often use as your "guiding compass?"
• Do you believe that Scripture can speak to every matter in your life?
• How can you "test" the validity of God's Word and it's application to the modern day world?
• What keeps you from coming to the source of "pure water" first?